I was finding hope in the only way I knew how to as a year-old and 15, 16, 17 and even year-old. Clearly there was something wrong with me and I was just acting out. Yes, I really did love him. Older men on the Internet gave me that reason. It's the consequence of some fucked up things that happened in my life and that I took to the Internet. Yes, it was taxing in everyway imaginable, but I survived. I recently received contact from one of these men and had a small breakdown. I need a reason to wake up in the morning.
Hi, I'm Erin, and I used to have sex with older men on the Internet. I just wish other people understood this. I loved, I cried, I laughed. It gave me a boost of self-esteem like nothing else ever had. I was 14 when I bought my first laptop with my own money. The reality of what I did, what they did, hit me like an avalanche. Having cyber sex with older men made me feel powerful, untouchable and fuckable at the same time. Eventually, I grew up, learned from my past and found a way to pick up the pieces. I recently received contact from one of these men and had a small breakdown. At the time, all I wanted to do was run away; I was counting down the days until I turned I know there are so many girls who've been through the same, or similar. Which just to clarify is still rape. I don't talk about this because honestly, I'm ashamed. In essence, they'll victim-blame me. Older men on the Internet gave me that reason. And I had to like everything was peachy-keen; nothing to see here, folks! My parents found out after about 6 months of this and I was in a sort-of relationship with a 20 year old who lived 2 states over. Yes, it was taxing in everyway imaginable, but I survived. I know I internalized a lot of what these men said to me, what they did. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Clearly there was something wrong with me and I was just acting out. It's damaged my sexuality perhaps permanently. Here's something I don't talk about very often; I'm a survivor of some pretty fucked up cyber sexual relations. They'll judge me, shame me internally or externally and think that I should have known better. Yes, we had cyber and phone sex.
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