I highly recommend not playing with a couple or close friends, however, unless you REALLY know them and, preferably, have seen them during threesomes before. I will be honest- I have not heard of a threesome involving a couple where the guy picked the girl, the two girls focused on the guy, and this didn't end in pain and tears. As a girl joining a couple, this is fun and fine if you're ok with the lack of responsibility and emotion that comes from being a living sex toy I've also had strangers become stalker-like, or fallen for someone I had sex with and felt miserable after. Do you want a casual relationship? You never know who'll end up feeling heartbroken after. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing that at all- in fact that's what I loved about threesomes for a long time! Do you want it to be a one time thing? And for all of these categories, be sure to know what pronouns people use, and how they like their genitalia spoken about and touched.
Also, talk about who buys the safer sex supplies? GGG- If you're lucky enough to know 2 girls who enjoy group play casually, then this can be a blast. It's a toss up whether it's better to play with people you know and trust or strangers. And if you're playing with friends, understand that something may end up happening and bruising your friendship. Safer sex guidelines, who likes what kind of play, if you'll cuddle after or split up. Do you want a regular booty call? Also, please refer to my blog about being sex positive when the object of your affections has a positive STI result. It's also important to emphasize that it's casual if it is. It's a place to start. If you're the odd girl out, it helps to hang out with friends after, or do something frivolous and fun- helps to lighten the intensity and makes you feel a little less lonely if that happens to you. It can be a great rush followed by an intense fall, emotionally, so make sure to take care of yourself. For example, the kind of boy I'd want to invite to play with my lover and I for a one time deal doesn't have to be someone I want to talk to the next day, but if I wanted another boyfriend I'd have different expectations and desires. These can tend to make threesomes easier, in my opinion. I've given up trying to get between my lover and the new shiny thing and said I'll just masturbate, even though I actually feel left out. There's that memorable threesome with the guys in Shortbus, and the L Word has more than one in the series- everyone's getting in on the action, and have been for a while! This all might sound like a crazy amount of information for someone just looking to get a little threesome nookie. Will drinking or substance use be involved? This will give you an idea on what sort of person to look for to ask into your bed. Do you want a serious relationship? In fact, I would say have "living sex toy" as your base expectation. Not everyone likes nipple stimulation or cunnilingus after all! Consider a Sex Worker. Also, consider making a plan to do something normalizing afterwards, if you're doing it with someone you expect to see again, like going to dinner a day or two later or seeing a movie. Threesomes are pretty easy to fuck up, and if you don't do some soul searching and communicating ahead of time, you'll have two people angry, not one! I love doing threesomes at parties, because parties have a finite end point, and it creates a container for the play that I can then leave afterwards with my primary. This is really important, people.
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